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Divorce Groups
Making the decision to divorce takes time and a great deal of self-reflection. Divorce can shatter a woman's self-esteem and wreak havoc on her life and the life of her family, but it is truly possible to embrace the experience as a transformational one. Maintaining a positive attitude and focusing on self, at the same time as embracing difficult emotions such as fear, sorrow, hurt and anger, is the key to remaining healthy and hopeful. It is imperative to embark on the journey of divorce with a commitment to SELF to reflect, learn, listen and talk, and a determination to focus on what is important instead of staying in regret, resentment or rejection. This is a time for gentleness towards oneself; a time to practice optimal self-care.
One of the challenges facing a woman on her divorce journey is maintaining a balance between honoring and accepting the roller coaster of emotional ups and downs and that of stepping into the role of "manager." She must uncouple financially, physically, and emotionally. She must take charge of the divorce process by educating herself on the practical know-how of options. The old adage "knowledge is power" becomes an important factor. From finding an attorney she trusts to becoming informed of the family's financial situation, there is much to be done and organization is key. Research on the internet, in the library, meeting with an attorney (or two) for an initial consultation and seeking advice from others who have been through divorce are all ways to begin. If she has children, keeping their best interests front and center will help her to act with dignity rather than fall into the trap of blame and revenge that can only serve to make the children feel caught in the middle. It can all feel very overwhelming, but accepting and moving through the various emotions in an appropriate way is an essential part of healing.
There is no question that divorce can be difficult, painful and overwhelming, even for the most prepared and supported person, but a positive attitude, together with sound advice and good support, can change the experience from being victimizing to being one that is transformational.
Caroline Temple, LCSW, has a private counseling practice in Fairfield and Norwalk. She facilitates divorce support groups for women in the process of, or considering divorce, as well as those who are "flying solo" post-divorce. Please call her at (203) 866-9333. |
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